I wanna know know right now.. is there one of you in the crowd. Are you gonna call 911? And spoil all of my fun... You crazy fools Waiting for my mom to come home, and for south park to come on. I'm a cool kid alright.

Mood: Get me outta here...
Listening to: Gotta Get Away - The Offspring
Reading: The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison
Watching: none

I really need to get away. First of all I am fuckin sick of winter, it's supposed to be in the 40s by now, it's oooooh.. 19 degrees out. Fuck snow. I hate snow. I hate cold. I want to hang outside and draw and see if Paul wants to chill sometime outside of school. I also need money. Badly. Very Badly. And it's all my fault.

And also because of me, my house is a miserable place to be. Cool. I am so good at ruining life. Awesome. I mean it's not miserable all the time. But things are awkward and mom sees anything I do slightly wrong (like not picking up a twistie that was on the floor cause I was putting the god damn clothes way like she asked me to....) she gets mad and shakes her head. I mean she gets over the little stuff. And I try and be real nice to her but it's fuckin hard. I make dinner and do chores with no complaints. But how about when I first wake up and go into the bathroom to take a shower you say "good morning" not "what's that lawyer's number?" God damn it, I wrote it on the fridge.

I want to just get this whole thing behind me and go have fun. I know I don't deserve that. I don't care. All the god damn rich fuckers in my grade don't deserve all the shit they get to do.

I don't even know if I want to do something so much as I want to just get to spring, and summer so that everything will be over. I had a dream I was driving to michigan, for some reason Pratt got moved there, and like I had to wait for all this stupid crap. Like none of my clothes were clean, so I had to wash them and wait. And while I was waiting my sister was bugging the crap out of me and my mom was like "you were supposed to wash those last night" and I was like "I couldn't" and then I finally got in the car.. .and my dream was really nice. Just me driving on my own and I don't even think I ended up packin my clothes. I need to go for a long drive. I've been wanting. I don't want to leave forever, I just wanna go drive for a bit. Get out of this redneck asshole town.

_______________________________________
You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then so is high school. - Ferris Bueller